Shadow J76ß

Traditional November weekend

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 22:03:20 GMT

I had no idea there existed a company - probably Spanish - that makes fridges and such things under the label Smeg. Something that amuses the Red Dwarf fanboy in me. (Yes, I'm tired and easily amused.)

Another tough week ended and I'm trying my best to get some rest wedged in between parents and nephew, but without much success. I still feel, well, edgy. Not to mention out of motivation, but that part I simply blame on it being November. Oh well, finally I at least got around to do some of the long overdue cleaning done.

And on a somewhat mood-related sidenote, it seems I'm running out of chocolate and unwatched Fullmetal Alchemist episodes. The latter even though I have been mixing in a heavy dose of Azumanga Daioh in my watching habits lately.

While my body's fighting (hopefully) dead flu virus...

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 10:11:03 GMT

Since my sister, my cousin, my mom and dzioo (a.k.a. four-fifths of the people in this world that I actually listen to for advice) all seemed to be in favour of me doing it, I braved the first snowfall of the year and got the A(H1N1) flu shot yesterday; and am now waiting to be ill. This far, all I have got is an aching left arm like if I had been using it too much, so I'm still waiting for more. Knowing the exact time of infection and being able to actually time the incubation period is kind of odd. I have never taken a flu shot before, so I don't really know how my immunological system will react. But if its usual reaction to wild viri is something to judge by, it should react. Guess it is just confused right now.

(The vaccine bottle seems to label the flu strain as "California". I wonder if that means that the A(H1N1) should really be the "California flu" in layman's language if we were going by traditional labelling, and if California hadn't had better lobbyists than Hongkong did in the 1960s.)

Yesterday's scribblings

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 12:21:10 GMT

My usual slice of life fluff fanficlet writing. I admit that there's no really important reason why this is a Gundam SEED one, other than that my mind at an early stage decided that it should be, and I don't argue against my mind on that point.

Reluctance
Time setting: sometime post-GS but pre-GSD probably

It had seemed like such a good idea earlier in the evening. The more adventurous part of her had quickly latched on to the arguments in favour of it. There wasn’t many single rooms available, a double was cheaper, it was safer, more space and more comfortable. In fact, she had been the one presenting all these benefits. He had just stood there, calmly listening to her and accepting, without showing any real emotions neither in favour of it nor against. In all essence, she had taken the decision. (He would have been too much of a gentleman to do it anyway.)

And now, she was the one wavering. Not that she ever would admit it if he or anyone else would ask, of course. The problem was that since she was too stubborn to show her reluctance now, there wasn’t really any way to back out of it. Besides, it would look silly, she added as an afterthought. Not to mention that an influential part of her mind wanted to go along with the original idea still. And what was she afraid of, really? It was he, for god’s sake! He wouldn’t do anything unless she agreed. Or at least nothing of that kind. She could trust him on that. The question was, could she trust herself in the situation that may arise? She scowled at the double bed in front of her again with such fervour that she almost jumped by surprise when Athrun came back into the room.

“So which side do you want?” he asked in an everyday tone and put the bag down. A way too everyday tone, Cagalli thought. Like it was nothing to him.

“This one.” She moved over and sat down at the left side of the bed. Having done that, she instantly started to going through her mind if there was any drawback – or risk – with having him on her right side, but without getting to any real conclusion.

There was another problem with their improvised, impulsive trip, she realised when she opened her backpack. She hadn’t really thought of bringing a whole lot of clothes. Which meant that she had the choice of either use the only T-shirt she had brought as change as nightdress, or go without. Neither of the options felt perfect. In the end she chose the shirt option. He didn’t need that much encouragement after all!

On the other hand, when she returned from the bathroom after changing, she was almost a little disappointed over his lack of interest – or perceived lack of interest, she wasn’t entirely sure of which – in her panties and not-that-long T-shirt apparition.

When their pillow talk about nothing had died out, she took the risk of turning towards him and just lay there, watching him. Not really sure if he was already asleep or not. If she wanted to, she noted drowsily, she could just stretch her arm out and touch him. If she wanted to. It was silly, she argued with herself. She had wanted this. In fact she had longed for a chance to get close to him all day, and now she was hesitant? But what if he thought it was an invite for more? He was a male after all, and everyone knew what they were after as soon as they got a chance. Or at least that was what they were supposed to be after. Not cuddling. Only the real thing counted, if you were to believe all the guy chats she had overheard. Not that she was entirely sure if those really had any connection to reality, or if it was just more of that moronic macho soldier talk that guys seemed to fall back on every time they were in a group. She looked at the peacefully slumbering Athrun again. This particular one maybe was different. In any case, he had had his chances before and not taken them. Almost without reflecting over it, she inched a little closer to the middle of the bed.

When she awoke again, she was lying on her side, his arm draped over her with his forearm resting over the small of her back like in a loose embrace. She obviously hadn’t noticed when it had happened. No more than she had noticed that her T-shirt somehow had bunched up at her neck, leaving her breasts partially bare. Looking at his face, she noticed he was still asleep. And after a moment’s thought, which included noting the interesting possibility of deniability from her side later on if she felt for it, Cagalli moved closer into his embrace.

Positive thinking

Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:39:41 GMT

To be honest, I whine too much.

With the exception of two things, I really don't have much to complain about. I have always had good relations to my parents, my sister and her family; I have a couple of wonderful friends who mean a lot to me - even if they aren't close enough to be around in real life, but maybe it is the fact that they exist that is important; And I have a decent place to live and for the time being still at least some kind of financial security. And for the rest I still have my dreams - not even totally impossible ones, even if they are still dreams - and one day they may yet come true. I'm stubborn after all. ^^

(This whole post is also probably a very good example why I shouldn't write things like this when it's late and I'm tired... Oh, well. I can always lock it later.)

(Also note that I only say that I probably whine too much, not that I will stop doing it...)

A control freak in a world without control is not a good combination

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 17:17:12 GMT

So tired. It feels like I've been stuck in a constant stress mood for at least the last two weeks - probably more -, with only the occasional hour or so every now and then as a relief and much needed breathing space. And even with all that stress, I still have a terrible time getting things done even close to as good as I want to. Not that I'm the slightest bit surprised, really. Meh, I still hate Swedish autumns in general, and this one in particular.

Tour of the town

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 13:40:22 GMT

While looking for other photos on my camera, I found some three weeks old photos from back when I was bored and had two hours of waiting to kill. So here is a random boring tour around Norrköping, one of the twin cities I call home towns, and this one is my childhood one to boot.

The Norrköping public library. When I was a kid, it was common agreement that it was an ugly, grey cement eyesore in the town. Since then I grew up, and studied urbanization, and got elitist, so now I actually think it's kind of nice.

On the other hand, nowadays I like the building, but not how the actual library inside it is handled.

The south esplanade. For some Swedes maybe mostly known from a song by Ulf Lundell.

View down toward the city centre, which is actually Queen Street.

Glass house.

Yep, we're in the province of Östergötland alright. (The "griffin with dragon wings and tail" is the heraldic symbol of the province and quite a unique beast. It is the offspring you get when you cross the old lion of the west part with the dragon of the east part. Yes, I'm a heraldry geek as well.)

Classy early 20th century tigers. Or lions, possibly.

A special for the Polish people ^^ Decoration from Lawski's House - the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth arms.

Same house. No idea what a lobster has to do with Poland-Lithuania though.

Norrköping in 1960s-70s style. Also shows the nightclub Palace, focal point of the city night entertainment where everyone used to go to get drunk. I have never been there.

Turn 45 degrees and we get Norrköping in 19th century style instead.

The sign says "Prohibited to walk in the fenced area". Uh, yeah...

Because rooftops and cats go together.

Museum of Work. Because as we all know, there's no such thing to be found outside the museums nowadays.

Small cottage in the middle of the city. Accompanying history lesson: It used to be an inn where tradition stated that prisoners condemned to be executed would stop to get their last drink. Thus, a cultural heritage site.

Part of Linköping University, Campus Norrköping. Mostly here to illustrate my childhood hometown's phobia for using the neighbour city's name. Thus, the university parts in Norrköping seem to always only use LiU instead. Never underestimate the rivalry between two twin cities.

Louis De Geer, the "father of Swedish manufacturing industry". Building our wealth on cannons, copper and textile (mostly for uniforms). Later on we realized that we didn't necessarily have to be the ones using the cannons... Statue by Carl Milles by the way. Even I know that.

The theater. Very theatr-y in its design I think.

Thalia, I believe. At least I'm pretty sure it's someone of the muses.

And that concludes our tour of the city for this time. Time wasted will not be refunded. Because the university never care about my wasted time.

Some social critique

Fri, 02 Oct 2009 10:35:56 GMT

*Reading Danish/south Swedish news.*

The biggest international airport in Scandinavia closed for traffic, rail and road traffic between Copenhagen and Malmö stopped between 7.30-8.30 and 11.30-12.30, mail in Copenhagen will be delayed and "big parts of Copenhagen will be subjected to shorter and longer closures of traffic". And the reason? The US president is in town on a blitz visit to promote Chicago's bid for the Olympic Games. Such an important mission! I'm sure the job commuters, air travellers, and common danes trying to get to work are totally overjoyed...

Sometimes you really can't help but wonder if maybe the US president ought to follow the example of the British queen and never go abroad except for official state visits.

And that's even without including how good it looks from a climate responsibility viewpoint to take a Boeing 747 on a transatlantic trip for some four hours of Olympic lobbying.

I'm such a bad fanboy

Sat, 19 Sep 2009 16:38:56 GMT

Okay, so Minami Takayama is the seiyuu for both Nabiki Tendo, Conan, Dilandau and now latest FmA's Envy. And I didn't notice that connection between the two first characters and the two later ones until now!

The thing here is that she's been a favourite singer - and seiyuu - of mine for many years, and even so I failed to react even when more knowledgeable people (dzioo) actively pointed out to me that she was to do Envy in FmA:B and that she was doing Dilandau in Escaflowne. I really fail at my music/seiyuu recognition skills and knowledge!

Oh, the mysteries of higher education

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 16:55:38 GMT

*reads incoming mail* Wait... I am one of two students who got an A grade on a course that involved statistics?! (OK, so not all that advanced statistics, but still. It's statistics.) And in cooperation with other research methods like questionnaires (icky) and interviews (double-icky) to boot. And with me being chided for being "too quiet" on at least one seminar. Not to mention the course in question was weird in that it was split in two parts by a summer holiday, which meant that you had all time in the world to actually forget what it was about. Oh, and I kind of haven't handed in the extra short report I had to write for being too quiet on said seminar yet. Apparently that isn't deemed too important for deciding my grade, then.

Mindless work

Sun, 06 Sep 2009 17:09:46 GMT

OK, so I should have been doing a lot of stuff that needed to be done this weekend (including some that I didn't even remember I needed to do), but after trying hard without success, I sort of gave up and decided to finally complete and put up the half-a-year old redesign of my fic archive instead. Good way of trying to avoid thinking I guess. But maybe not the best way to spend my time. Especially not since it's still not up to date even though I have written way too little lately.

Election special

Sat, 06 Jun 2009 11:54:59 GMT

Yay, it's another election coming up! (Hey, bear with me, I'm Swedish. Having the opportunity to participate in elections outside September every fourth year is still a novelty for me.) Which means funny test results for the shameless election geek that I am. And yes, nighteevee, I've already used my voting privilege, so don't worry. Although had I known it would be possible to actually vote in advance at my uni this last week, I wouldn't have had to walk through half the town to the library voting station the week before. Oh well.

So to sum these fun tests up, I'm left/green in Germany, green in Finland, conservative/liberal in Sweden, and whatever I feel for in Denmark. While I should apparently not vote for conservatives in Germany, and greens or left in Sweden.

Political right-left scales makes such sense, no? Or you could just say that Swedish politics are weird I suppose. Welcome to the land in the mirror-world.

(And no, I didn't vote in accordance to my #1 Swedish result.)

Germany:

http://event.faz.net/wom/euro/main_app.php
(SPD = social democrats, Die Linke = left/ex-communist, Grüne = green)

Sweden:

http://www.dn.se/fordjupning/europa2009/vad-ska-du-rosta-pa-i-eu-valet-1.869858
(Kristdemokraterna = christian democrats, Folkpartiet = liberal, centerpartiet = liberal, socialdemokraterna = social democrats (yeah, you probably figured that last one out yourself))

Finland:

http://special.hbl.fi/valmaskin/
(De Gröna = green, Vänsterförbundet = left)

And Denmark:

http://www.dr.dk/Nyheder/Temaer/2009/Europa/Stemmesedlen/Stemmesedlen.htm&start=testdineholdninger
(Radikale venstre = centre, socialdemokraterne = social democrats, Venstre = liberal, Det konservative folkeparti = conservative)

On a different, but actually somewhat similar topic, an excerpt of a morning conversation:
Me to my dad: "Is it some kind of holiday today since you don't get any morning newspaper?"
Dad: "Yes, it's Sweden's national day."
Me: "Oh..."

I know it is the D-day anniversary, and I know it is EU election day tomorrow. But remembering my own country's national day... Why should I do that?

Photo time

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:36:33 GMT

This last week in pictures. Not because it was anything special really, but because I wanted to. OK, so the weather was nice, if that's an excuse for the photo spamming. Image heavy behind the cut, obviously.

Look! Birds! For the record, we're just right outside the uni campus here.

We're an urbanised, modern country. But it is never far from the farmer roots.

Dandelion fields.

(Early) summer at the uni.

Uni public art and landscape.

Random uni view. It's "our" department's houses in the background by the way. The ponds and park are much nicer in May than in field sampling days in November.

The things you can do with some buckets of paint. Until last autumn, this charming late 70s-early 80s building used to be rust red.

City scene, but this time from Norrköping. I was waiting for the bus.

Summer in the city... Back in Linköping, by the way. Just to make things clear, I live in a city with 130 000 inhabitants. And this is actually between the city center and the uni campus.

Sheep shot.

Constructed heritage. The Linköping way of modernisation - move the old city buildings to a reservation. Can be contrasted with the twin city Norrköping way - tear them down and wait 30 years to rebuild the empty plots.

Sakura. Or something.

If I remember correctly, this lane is called "rose walk" or something...

...which is an interesting name, indeed.

Linköping Castle.

And the cathedral.

Glass pyramid. "You shall not throw stones when in glass pyramids." Or something. If nothing else, the café management will probably throw you out if you try.

Concrete chairs. Of a better model than the famous Swedish artsy one I think. But then, these are just (somewhat functional) park decorations, not famous art.

Summer's coming

Thu, 04 Jun 2009 21:39:29 GMT

So. Last paper for the semester handed in, and classes ended yesterday, which I guess means the end of this university year. The odd thing is that I - for what I almost think is the first time in a way too long time - feel kind of sad to get a boring summer break. Funny that it should take that many years at uni before I got to feel like that. Many, many years and first now I get into a class where I get classmates that I actually like to interact with. It's weird. Think if it had been and felt like this back when I first started and really needed it. Oh well, better late than never I guess. Even if it is almost too late. Or in some aspect it is too late, since everyone else have their own circles, friends and families, which limits the interaction somewhat. But still, it has been fun. Really. This last uni year has been, well, interesting. Not happy, happy, happy exactly (hey, it's me, what do you expect), but at least different.

According to one of those tests, both sides of my brain are equally powerful...

Sun, 24 May 2009 10:20:20 GMT

Sometimes I really hate my brain, just because of the left and right halves of it being both powerful. It's both a blessing and a curse I suppose, since I really need the right side of my brain's dreams, wonderful what-if scenarios and potential future images. Especially lately. Without those, I'd be doomed. And I'm also very much in need of my logical, rational left side. Without that, I would be insane.

I just love some of the imaginations and at least somewhat plausible ideas and potential scenarios that my mind is capable of rendering. Because since I apparently do have an equally strong left side brain as well, they are actually that - potentially possible. Not always likely though, but still not impossible. And I'm a sucker for those daydreams, I must shamefully admit that.

But even so, at the end of the day, it's always the logical, rational - and boring - left side that has the power to veto and point out the flaws and unlikeliness in the dream possibilities. And that is so irritating sometimes.

In short, I hate my mind for being essentially me; A wannabe dreamer that fails hard due to his masochistic tendencies to be so damn boringly realistic and responsible in the end.

Now, I'll better go and fight my parents' too fast-growing grass...

Older, wiser, and writing..? Not a logical combination, maybe

Fri, 22 May 2009 12:41:13 GMT

Granted, it wasn't exactly yesterday I wrote FmA ficlets - or drabble scenes or whatever it should be called.

Sort of based on inspiration from dzioo's post. In any case, she's the guilty one.

Grey morning

He had known that this day would come. It was inevitable after all. Still, he had hoped that it would be a long time until it actually occurred.

Riza glanced over at her superior officer where he sat behind his desk, hands together, thinking. Apparently worried over something, and it irked her a little that she couldn’t tell what it was about. Now when she thought of it, he had been unusually thoughtful ever since she had first picked him up in the morning outside his apartment. Whatever it was, it must have been something that came to his mind between yesterday evening and the morning.

She took the risk of taking another glance at him.

If he had noticed her concerned looks, he didn’t show it. Most likely he hadn’t. That kind of perception wasn’t exactly his strong side.

He swivelled in the chair, turning his back to the room. Seemingly looking out through the window behind his desk. Like he looked at something that wasn’t there. Adjusting the position of the chair slightly, and tilting his head toward the window. She wondered what he could see in that position. Especially since the rainy grey weather in combination with the season made for a dark morning outside.

Riza returned her attention to the paperwork at hand. Some standard reports, a number of requisitions. She raised an eyebrow over a forwarded invoice, trying to imagine what Edward Elric needed 200 balloons, a dart board, two bottles of red and black ink, and a subscription to Mechanics Monthly for. But in the end it wasn’t her problem, so she simply put the invoice on top of the heap that needed the commanding officer’s signature. With a little luck that one would at least get a reaction out of the subdued man.

Walking over to his desk she made a deliberate effort of making her steps sound, but even so, he didn’t turn his attention – and his chair – back to her until she had placed the batch of papers on his desk in a more loudly fashion that was really needed. Startled, he lowered his hand, but not fast enough to make her miss to notice the movement.

That’s when she understood. And in one fluid movement, making it look like nothing more than a soft bow forward to organise the papers on the desk a little, she moved closer to him.

“You know, there is a certain distinguished look to a man with a touch of grey in his hair, brigadier-general,” she stated in a low, confidant voice. “Signals maturity and authority.” She gave him a soft, reassuring smile and was rewarded by the slightest change in his posture. A change that probably was too small for anyone else than her to notice. He wouldn’t lay the troublesome thoughts to rest that easily, of course. For that to happen, she would have to keep working on it for a while to come. When the stubborn man got a fix idea like that, it wouldn’t be discarded that easily. She knew that. But at least she had identified the problem. And hopefully managed to make Roy Mustang’s morning a little less grey.

Huh? This is highly unexpected!

Sun, 17 May 2009 18:01:56 GMT

*stares in wonder* Panini has licensed Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and shows it on a Youtube channel? With Swedish subtitles! We're not getting screwed and locked out as usual? That's definitely not something I had expected!

Fanboy mode on

Tue, 05 May 2009 16:00:20 GMT

I have had surprisingly little to complain about over the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood series this far. Even if I still think the first anime was a little more shiny for some reason, but that could just as well only be random rosy memories. And the voice changes that I really feared could make me react negatively haven't actually made me cringe very much at all. I do miss old Envy a little though. In any case I like that they seem to have decided to make the best of the opportunity and give us new scenes animated with no more overlap than absolutely necessary. Still, it does have a rather high speed in its storytelling, and I can only imagine how someone who hasn't read the manga must feel sometimes. But for me, I can hardly wait until we get into new manga storyline-land.

Since I'm in fanboy mode, something about the rest of my current anime spring season. Something new, something old. As usual for me:

Hetalia Axis Powers. It's hardly surprising that I find the anime shorts entertaining I suppose. The concept is so weird-cute and something only a Japanese could have come up with.

Shangri-La. Nothing really fantastic, but not that bad either this far. After reading about it, I just had to see what it was going to be about. Not really what I expected, but I guess I continue watching it for a while.

Full Metal Panic. Not a new one at all, I know. But it was something that had been on my "maybe watch someday" list for a looong time, and now there happened to be this combination of stumbling over it, and at the same time remembering that someone with usually very good taste seemed to have liked it, so... And this far I don't regret it. It is nice entertainment! Much better than the short synopses I once read made it sound.

Oh, Sweden, thou wonderous place on earth...

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 10:15:46 GMT

Normally I don't post video links here - and normally I'm not watching the American Daily Show either. But I really do find this amusing in some quirky way, so...

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

The Stockholm Syndrome

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

M - Th 11p / 10c

The Stockholm Syndrome Pt. 2

thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Economic Crisis

Political Humor

Now, I better go and try to do my taxes and declare that "excess of capital" (official term) they say I have.

Me, the half-adult

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 21:43:22 GMT

It's spring in the air, for several days in a row! Wow.

Today's flattering moment - I bought stuff at Systembolaget (for eventual readers unfamiliar with the honoured Swedish institution, it's the state monopoly store for alcoholic beverages) and to my surprise I was asked to show an ID card; which was many years since I last had to do, I might add. I know people tend to underestimate my age somewhat, but do I really look that young now?

Anyway, I thanked the attendant for her flattering request and showed my ID, on which she responded "Åh, du är ju nästan halvvuxen." ("Oh, you're almost half-adult.") Not exactly the most expected statement, but somehow I really liked it! It's probably a very accurate description of me.

Mood recession

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 22:56:42 GMT

Finally the end of an unusually tough week for me, and very irritating because I didn't expected it to be so hard. But my mind sometimes seem to have a mind of its own and quite a sadistic one as well. Or maybe that's just another way to say that I'm a moron giving myself unnecessary trouble sometimes. I don't know.

What I do know is that I really need to try to lower my stress levels a little by now. Writing block when you need to produce papers to hand in does not make for a good combination. Neither does stress-induced headache. Or high levels of bluesy feelings... Actually, I'm not sure what is the cause and what is the effect of what any longer. Oh well, something got handed in at least.

Normal levels of stress = relative calm

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 17:58:00 GMT

After a couple of weeks being stressed to pieces, it has been nice to actually have had a weekend that allowed me to get my stress levels back to normal. (I.e. not gone, just less extreme. That's me.)

Anyway, some of the random stuff I've been able to notice during my moments of trying to calm down:

V for Vendetta turned out to be a much better movie than I had expected.

Quantum of Solace turned out to be just as I expected. That is, a somewhat decent action movie which gets a lower rating in my mind than it should have got had they not called it a Bond movie. Because there isn't really much Bond left in it I fear, so why insist on calling it that?

Bleach - yes, we're in manga territory now - and more recently the probably less known Skip Beat! apparently have started being published in Swedish translation now, something I've totally missed. As late as a month or so ago I concluded that the local manga wave seemed to have slowed down to a lull after a brief overview of the bookstores. Guess that's what happens when you're more geared toward the English language market than the Swedish one. What's more interesting than the actual title - since I had a look at Bleach years ago but didn't found it interesting enough back then, and now 33+ volumes of a shonen series feel too much to go for - is the fact that it seems we actually have started to get a wider group of translators here. That's nice. Maybe. Because I haven't actually read their translations, so I shouldn't say too much.

Oh, and I have discovered that when it comes to doing nature science computer models, I suck at understanding the math formulas used, but I am somewhat better (not exactly good though, "better" is a relative thing) at understanding it when swapping to the computer syntax version of the models. Which - unfortunately - is the exact opposite of what the instructions assume that you should do.

Man who gets amused over weird things

Sun, 01 Mar 2009 11:02:21 GMT

Making screenshot posts isn't my usual thing, but why not?

And I know, I shouldn't be as ridiculously amused over these as I am. My humor is SO bad sometimes.

The flawless, enlightened men of tomorrow and their progressive views...

Of course, the old-fashioned humankind seem to have it too. Or maybe it is just that the men and women of tomorrow bring forth the best in them?

I especially like her face in the next-to-last panel there.

One of the more amusing episodes in a while I think, partially thanks to this. Which probably says something about me... And given the ending, I'm not sure my reaction was what the script writers intended, really.

It's all about me

Sun, 22 Feb 2009 12:57:19 GMT

Meme task from dzioo and such a good excuse for me to talk.

Comment to this post and I will give you 5 subjects/things I associate you with. Then post this in your LJ and elaborate on the subjects given. (You may also comment without committing to doing something of your own, I'm nice today.)

Cagalli
My number one fictional character love, if someone has missed that by now. Why, I don't exactly know, but it was one of those love-at-first-sight things [which I only have for fictional characters, obviously]. It is probably as simple as a case of her embodying a number of qualities I like in a female - assertive, intelligent, stubborn, and with a will and agenda of her own, but also with a hidden softer side. [And I wonder why I'm still single in real life... Tsk...] Oh, and good-looking maybe is part of it too, I suppose. While at the same time being realistically enough made to be believable with her uncertainty, doubt and low moments. In short a well-rounded character with a personality, and that's not all that common. The only thing I refuse to accept as canon is the bridal scene, which is so out of character that I get irritated. But then, GSD is what it is. In many ways.

politics
Yes, I AM interested in politics, but probably in a somewhat more detached way than most people. Maybe it's a result of my education, maybe it's more of a personality thing, but I like to study politics, much like a physician finds an interest in studying diseases. The perfect political system doesn't exist, since all political ideologies are flawed in different ways, and most political parties put their ideology and their own interests first and "being a servant of the people" far beyond that. Yes, I know, I'm cynical.

This view can be a problem in that I can't subscribe to any specific political leaning - even if I guess the most accurate label would be "centrist". My overall political doctrine is that any political party staying in power on its own for too long is a bad thing, because then they get the opportunity to realise the more extreme parts of their agendas. Change is good, as long as it is a change between reasonable alternatives (i.e. centre-right or centre-left, extreme ideologies who don't care even about the basic human rights, torture people, go for excessive nationalism, or behaves randomly weird should never rise to power. Even I have my limits.). This is also why I loathe bloc politics, because they limit the possible constellations.

fanfiction
I am kind of split when it comes to fanfiction. On one hand, I can understand the idea. I have after all been writing it every now and then. It's nice to get these ready-made characters and try to make stories that fit them. But I would never write long fanfiction stories, simply because it's not my characters and I can never own or actually do anything more purposeful with such texts. Short writings can be fun, but I can't really think of wasting time and energy on creating long stories that essentially never can be mine. I can of course use pre-made characters and universes as inspiration and starting points for own stories, but that's a different thing. Then the major characters will be mine in any case. But writing things which are totally my own is even better. But also much harder, and compared to fanfics there is even less of an audience for it.

As for reading fanfiction, I must admit I rarely do it nowadays. I love reading things written by friends or at least people I can somehow relate to (like friends' friends), but random fanfics found on the net, not so often. Because it takes time, and to be honest most of the things aren't so interesting when you don't know the author behind it. With friends' writings it's different, because you care about the person behind the writing, and the texts get an additional dimension. (Sounds pretentious, I know, but it's hard to explain.)

shadow
Not sure what to write here. I guess Dzioo's referring to my habit of using the word to describe myself, so I'll talk about that. It's a thing that in its current incarnation stems from around late 2003-early 2004, but in its essence it's much older than that. I have always been the quiet, non-obtrusive one who have managed to be around without being really noticed. I'm illusive and really hard to get close to, just like the shadow. I listen much more than I talk, I gather information much more than I share it. Standing in the shadows. Or being a shadow. Because on the other hand, some probably would say that once you manage to get my liking and trust (not easy), I'm also faithful as a shadow. [Am I making myself sound very creepy here? In that case, that's not the point. I'm not dangerous, I promise.]

In other words, I would have made an excellent Swiss banker, knowing a lot but telling little. Safe and secure, but you have to get into my well-guarded personal space and get my trust to have any use of that.

shyness
This one is closely connected to the shadow part, and maybe even more connected to the trusting part. And there's no point in denying the obvious, I AM shy. Period. But unlike the shadow part, the shyness is something I don't always like all that much. Luckily, it's a shyness mostly working on the personal plane; if it's simply work or other official, non-personal matters it's not that bad (unless it involves phones, I hate conducting official business over phones, because it's so prone to error - real life meeting or some form of text based interaction for me, thanks), because I don't have to let those people close to the real me. The real drawback is instead that I'm slow in making friends, which is something I suffer from every now and then.

Why do my ramblings always turn out feeling so dull and serious compared to others when they do this? Oh well, I suppose it's a personality thing...

Night thoughts

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 23:15:29 GMT

Life is like a four-dimensional game of chess. Now if I only could remember how the pieces are to be moved...

Okay, it's been a long day, I'm in devious mode, and I probably ought to go to bed now.

Bored. Or procrastinating. Or both.

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 15:52:24 GMT

Somewhat bored. So what's better than letting my brain in free gear. Meme taken from schrogwr2. Very random first-that-popped-into-my-mind answers. See it as a free glimpse of how my mind works. Or not works.

Rules: It's harder than it looks! Copy to your own note, erase my answers, enter yours, and tag 10 people. Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real . . . nothing made up! If the person before you had the same first initial, you must use different answers. You cannot use any word twice and you can't use your name for the boy/girl name question.

1. What is your name: Johan
2. A four letter word: Juli (Or July if English is your preferred language.)
3. A boy's name: Jesper
4. A girl's name: Johanna
5. An occupation: Journalist
6. A color: Jaune (Hey, no one specified a language.)
7. Something you wear: Jeans
9. A food: Janssons frestelse (Not tasty.)
10. Something found in the bathroom: Jordgubbssmaksatta... mmm, no, maybe not...
11. A place: Jelling (In Denmark if someone wonders.)
12. A reason for being late: Job
13. Something you shout: Jaaaa!
14. A movie title: Jumanji
15. Something you drink: Juice
16. A musical group: Josie and the Pussycats
17. An animal: Jaguar
18. A street name: Järngatan
19. A type of car: Jeep
20. The title of a song: Jajauma ni sasenaide

What to say? My "first association" skill is a weird thing. And with the exception of the bathroom one, and the song title which I had to look up to be sure of the spelling, this wasn't that hard, actually. (Ok, so I ended up using four languages, so sue me. That's how my brain works after all.)