I'm feeling better, but am still tired enough to waste some time writing pointless ficlet drabbles instead of doing something meaningful ^^;

Oh, and I really like the Deutsche Post for its nice, speedy service right now. I so needed this little thing to cheer myself up with ^^


And she's mine. All mine! ^^
And never mind that Legolas apparently is about to put an arrow in her back...


But now for the sad, sub-angsty ficlet terror. Fear me when I'm tired. ^^


Kanon Thoughts

It was spring in the air. Kanon stood at the side of the road winding up the mountainside, leaning at the iron fence that separated her from the steep man-made wall that supported the part of the road she stood at, and at the same time guarded the other, lower level of the same serpentine road from rockslides.

She inhaled the crisp air in deep breaths, feeling alive. For once. Sometimes she felt like she just had awakened from a long dream. A bad dream. There had been nothing to live for, except the duties. She had a duty to survive. That was an obligation to her dead family. An obligation to her fallen comrades. And she had gladly embraced that duty, using it as a shield against memories too painful to deal with.

It had worked. Partially, at least. By dulling her own emotions, she had been able to survive. But how much she had tried, she hadn’t been able to control her feelings. By living for and by orders, she had managed to lock them deep inside her heart, but they had always been there. Buried, yes, but still there.

And then he had come. With a few sentences, he had crushed her carefully constructed protective mental shield.

Suddenly she spotted them. ‘Speaking of the devil...’ she thought for herself.

Kazuki and Soushi, standing at an outcrop at the roadside on the lower level. Talking, obviously. Both looking more or less out over the ocean and thus having no chance to see her where she stood.

Kanon couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other, but couldn’t help but to watch the two close friends. They were standing side by side. Close to each other. So close that Kanon couldn’t start wonder if there was any truth in the rumours she had overheard.

Soushi walked away, leaving Kazuki standing alone, still looking out over the sea far below. Kanon reflected over the sudden possibilities. She could pretend to just happen to walk by. It was a perfect opportunity. But then what? She wasn’t exactly used to this kind of things. Relationships for her had always been of the soldier comrade kind. Friendly, but not really emotional. Especially not in her case. And the whole point here was to make him aware of her feelings. Feelings that he was the cause of. But unfortunately not feelings he shared, as far as she could notice.

She sighed. It was to no use to harbour dreams like this. First of all she wasn’t sure of her own feelings for the young man standing below. Maybe she only couldn’t get him out of her mind because he was the one who had shattered her emotional defences in the first place? And if – just if, mind you – her current feelings were something to trust, she still had no chance.

As on cue, Maya, who apparently was on her way back to the town, joined Kazuki at the roadside. They were a good couple, even Kanon must admit that, and that was exactly how everyone else except the two involved saw them. It was obvious, and only a matter of time before even they themselves would realise it.

She looked down at the young dark-haired male and the cute female. Seeing them engaged in a lively chat. Yes, she didn’t have a chance. And still, she couldn’t get the feelings out of her head. Kazuki may have finally made her come to terms with some of her nightmare dreams. But she wasn’t entirely sure the new dreams that he had helped plant in her head would be much better to live with in the long run.